Skeptical Justice

Why is it that when you are a woman seeking a divorce the automatic assumption by others concerns how "well you'll make out" simply because you are a woman? My case is completely reversed of what (at least in my area) seems "normal".   Reject Man started out "normal", or so I thought. He had caught some bad breaks with employment and was working a low-paying cooking job, but I thought he was doing the best he could. The actual truth of things didn't begin coming to light until after we were married. (Isn't that just typical.)   Within the first year of marriage I found out he was on probation and was a felon as a result of a drug charge. He also had seen fit to skip town a few years back to avoid paying child support for his oldest daughter and was now having to pay extra payments, in addition to the original amount, due to being thousands of dollars in arrears. The day I brought our daughter home from the hospital I decided to go through the stack of mail from the previous few days and what do I find? A summons for him to appear for paternity testing. Hello child number two and an additional 21% child support deducted from his already minimal pay. To top this off, all of the utilities had to be placed in my name for the residence. Why? Because it seems he failed to pay his power and light and phone bills for months and was being pursued by collection agencies and the utility companies refused to place things in his name.   Spare me the comments about my stupidity for not seeking an annulment. I was young, had a baby and thought for some idiotic reason that I could turn his life around. My advice to young women after the experiences I've had the last 15 years is... Never think you can turn his life around! You may end up being bitten and paying the price for a very long time!   I'm paying the price now...literally and figuratively speaking. While Reject Man has contributed nothing toward paying for two mortgages, utilities and general expenses of keeping a household, I get to give him 50% of everything I have worked so hard to build for my daughter's future...my pension and 401k. Oh, and I get to fight tooth and nail to keep from having to pay him maintenance so that he can continue to live in the lifestyle to which he has been accustomed.   I keep hoping there will be some justice, but that hope is fading and I have the suspicion that my rear-end is going to be so sore I won't be able to sit when this is finally over.   Toodles for now...

Mono Blah Mono

Don't get me wrong, I am absolutely satisfied with the cataract surgery I've had on the right eye. What I am not so thrilled about is the resulting mono vision I now have until the other eye is operated on, which won't be for at least another month.   Things like walking, driving and the like are fine and though there is a slightly noticeable difference between the vision in each eye, it isn't enough to wreak much havoc. Where the problem exists is with my near vision. Using the computer, writing by hand, reading...it all is terribly problematic. I cannot see close with my correct eye, and even with my contact lens in the other eye, my close vision is sketchy due to the cataract that remains. Being back at work today, where I had no choice but to be on the computer to perform my job, has been an adventure and quite nauseating. I've also developed a headache that feels as though it ought to have originated within a Texan.   For those of you who have mono vision and live with it daily...I applaud you! My brain, so far at least, will just not allow me to adjust to this difference. Here's to spilling some more beverages this evening because my perception is whacked lol.   Toodles for now...   Grading with a Rubric: A Useful Homeschool Scoring Tool Tips on creating and using a rubric scoring tool for homeschooling. View more »

Eight Drops Per Day

Adjusting to the vision changes after having cataract surgery is challenge for me. I find I am continually closing or covering one eye or the other in order to properly see what I wish to see. With the right eye, the one with the cataract removed, my vision is corrected for distance. This is wonderful when I'm driving, watching television or sitting on the porch enjoying the birds and nature going on outside, but it stinks for reading and using my computer.

The left eye, with or without my prescription contact lens in or not, is cloudy. With the contact in, I can close the right eye and at least see the letters on my keyboard, but the foggy effect really hampers this and I find it still to be difficult seeing. Needless to say, I am not anxious to have the left eye done and settle into using reading glasses.

Anyone who is concerned about having cataract surgery...don't be! It really is pretty smooth and easy going, at least in my experience. The itchy, scratchy feeling in the right eye only lasted the day of the surgery and I've not been bothered by it since. Wearing the little "fly eye" patch when I go to bed at night helps deter me from rubbing the eye in my sleep and I don't wear it during the day at all. (I am good about not rubbing my eye though, so that is the main thing to consider.) Overall it is simply phenomenal to see such an improvement in colors and vividness of objects! :)

At this point, the only downside to this surgery and having the remainder of this work week off to be home recovering is the presence of Reject Man. But, thankfully, he continues to keep leaving little helpful tidbits lying around that only serve to hang him his own noose. (More on that another time.)

Toodles for now...

Life through a new lens...

literally!

I've spent the day today adjusting to post-cataract surgery life. Granted, only one eye has been done so far, but the difference is astounding! I know, I know, I'm young to have cataracts, but what can I say, I'm ahead of my time lol.

Forty Hours Until Friday

Being off work for a few days is nice, with the exception of being around Reject Man...the things we have to endure at times, huh? lol I gave my presentation last week, which went well, but the interview observation was a bit of a let-down. My bosses idea of allowing me to observe meant giving the interviewee a tour of the work area...period. *sigh* I gave that tour with a smile and enthusiasm though, yes indeedy!

At Home on the School Front

A is happy today, since she has half the day free from school work due to my surgery. I played the part of a good parent and teacher though...she still had to do Math and Science lol. (Can you see the little halo resting atop my head?) We're studying hurricanes and coordinate planes; two pieces of subject matter I didn't want her taking a break from to potentially forget the content. She survived. Tomorrow is back to full-fun...I'm sure she's anxious and extremely excited to get back on the Civics and English train lol.

Reject Man Chronicles

Some people just can't seem to listen; either that or they are just too stubborn. For the last three months, I have made it as clear as I'm able (without conking him on the head with a skillet) that we are getting a divorce. Tell me what part of "I don't want to be married to you and put up with your bs anymore" isn't clear please, because I would love to know. Some portion of it must be Greek or muddy though, because he continues to write me notes and insist (although it's bordering now on plead) I change my mind and stop the proceedings. Facts are facts, the 120-day period is nearly over and Reject Man is getting desperate because his 'gravy-train' is coming to the end of its tracks.


Well, I think it's time to rest the mono-vision for now before a headache sets in. Toodles for now...

Helps to "Post" instead of "Draft"

Forty Hours 'Til Friday   Whoo hooo! Friday is finally here! It has been a long week with plenty going on, both at work and at home.   It's "Presentation Day" today. Since graduating with my B.A. in May and seeing no progress in things changing around here career wise, I decided to have a chit chat with the boss. It's paying off it seems :-). He has me giving a presentation today to his boss and a group of team leaders on the QCPC (Quality Clinic Process Chart) I've been doing since January. The goal set was for 50% improvement by January of 2009. As of last month, I achieved better than 90% improvement, reducing turnbacks to two from 158. Booya! ;-) Fingers crossed the presentation goes well today!   At Home on the School Front   This semester's classes for A include English, Earth Science, Algebra, Civics, MS Word, Health, Nutrition and Cooking Basics. So far, her grades are fine and things are going well :-). She isn't thrilled with starting this unit in English on "Romeo and Juliet", but we're taking our time, reading it together and going over the meaning of that "funky language they use" lol.   Today is Math Test day...fun stuff...Associative, Commutative and Distributive Properties. I'm actually pretty pleased with how I explained it all to her. Initially, A didn't understand the three too well, but now it all seems to be going better. Maybe there's a future article on explaining those properties, who knows ;-).   Reject Man Chronicles   (Hahaha, I had to come up with a nifty name for him, right? I've been rather partial to Reject Man so I'm going with it :-).)   For the last couple of months of this divorce saga I've been receiving notes, generally on a regular basis. These babies aren't typically handed to me, oh nooo, they are left under the wiper blades of my car, on the patio table, or on my computer keyboard...and almost always when I am not around or overnight when I'm sleeping. Apparently, he is too afraid to see my reaction to reading them. He should be...I doubt he would be too happy with my laughter! lmao   These little notes are a riot. Not only is he putting things in writing for me to hand over to my attorney, but he is also giving a clear and telling view of himself and what he is really about. What's that you ask? He's all about doing nothing and having someone else take care of him and his finances and sex. Never mind that I haven't wanted to touch him (and haven't lol) for about three years now lol.   One classic note from him was very happy and jovial. See, he started buying and taking some "male enhancement" pills back in June of this year...as if they would help lol. Anyway, one morning I head out to leave for work and lo and behold, on my windshield is a fresh note for me. Ready?        "You know those pills I [sic] been taking? Well theyre [sic] working. It's getting bigger!"   ROFLMAO!!  Needless to say, if I wasn't awake before I was definitely awake after reading that one! Hahahahahaha!   Everyone enjoy the weekend!

Ripple, Wave, Tsunami

We all have to begin somewhere, somehow. The old expression about life beginning at forty seems to be ringing true for me. I am just embarking on the journey of re-creating my life, in some respects from the ground up.

I filed for divorce from my husband of 14 years in May. Damn, that felt good! I tried once before, several years ago, but our daughter was in the early grades of elementary school and wasn't dealing with it all well, so, like an idiot, I stopped the procedings and reconciled. Of course, my intent was to hang on and file again when A turned 18--I just couldn't take the waiting any longer. A is 14 now and better sees and understands the reasons I have for wanting out of this "relationship".

With a month left to wait for a court date, the ups and downs of this summer often feel like ripples, waves and tsunamis. I certainly hope Reject Man has a solid surf board, because he has created a doozy of a tsunami to ride in order to get himself out of the messes he's created. Shame he learned how to swim as a boy lol. (Insert mischievious giggle.)